About Chuck and Eileen Rife

Chuck Rife is a licensed professional counselor and marriage/family therapist who's worked with Total Life Counseling, Inc. of Roanoke, Virginia since 1988. Eileen Rife, a veteran homeschool mom of twenty years, works as a freelance writer, author, and speaker. Together, they conduct marriage seminars designed to grow godly marriages that last a lifetime! Chuck and Eileen are also certified to administer and evaluate the Prepare-Enrich assessment tool for couples.

Intimate Meditations

The heartbeat of God is relationship. He wants us to know and love Him with all of our hearts, souls, and minds (Matthew 22:37). The more we know Him, the more we will bring glory to Him. Bringing glory to God in everything we do is our first purpose in life. Furthermore, Romans 12:1 encourages us to present our very bodies as living sacrifices to God. Presenting our bodies means presenting our whole selves to God, including all of our thoughts and actions. Paul calls this presentation a spiritual service of worship. 

So, the act of sex, as well as any other action, is intended to be an act of worship before God. Our society, hungry for relationship, has unwittingly exchanged God for sex, worshipping the act rather than the Creator of that act. Since God designed sex to be a picture of His relationship with His child, man craves sexual union, not realizing it is God he really desires. When man comes into right relationship with God through the Lord Jesus Christ and embraces His plan for sex (the marriage union), then he is on the path to wholeness in body, soul, and mind. As you read each vignette, perhaps as a preface to your lovemaking, we pray that God will enable you to lay aside any distortions Satan has filled your mind with concerning sex. Allow God to heal your past and present, if need be.God can change your way of thinking and move you to new levels of intimacy. He delights to see His children enjoying  His gift of sex! Enter in fully and freely!


                                                         The Divine Matchmaker

Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib

he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

Genesis 2:22

Sex is God’s idea. Does that surprise you? If so, take a trip through the first two chapters of Genesis. If still not convinced, travel over to the Song of Songs, where God devotes an entire book of the Bible to exalting sexual love within marriage. Still not sure? Fly over to Ephesians 5:31, a reiteration of Genesis 2:24 which says, For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.

The theme of scripture is God’s love for us and He uses the sexual relationship within marriage as a picture of that love. According to Tim Gardner, in his book Sacred Sex, “…sex is holy and is intended by God to be a celebration of intimacy with God as well as with each other.” 

If sex is God’s idea, then doesn’t it make sense that Satan will do everything in his power to distort its image? We have only to flip on the television, open a magazine, or drive past a billboard to realize that he is doing a pretty good job of it! 

As Tim Gardner says, “We can’t unlock the secrets of sex and enjoy its greatest benefits unless we approach it as a holy act. Only then will couples truly experience the beauty and joy of great sex the way God intended.”

Ask: What can I do for my mate tonight that will show him/her I view sex as holy?


Prayer as Foreplay

One of the sexiest things you could ever do with your wife is pray with her . . .When we see our wives as complete beings, it’s hard to pursue them for sex at the expense of everything else. As we pray together, we’ll want true passion, not just sex.
Tim Gardner, Sacred Sex

Since the sexual union is a reflection of God’s relationship with His child, communicating together with God through prayer makes perfect sense. Prayer meshes two hearts, minds, and souls in a spiritual bond that can pave the way to  sexual intimacy. However, prayer must not be used as a means to an end, but enjoyed for what it is--lovers communicating with the Beloved. 

As you come together, pray through your fears, failures, dreams, and goals. Bare your soul and your mate will move closer to you, emotionally, spiritually, and most likely, physically. Thank God for your mate’s traits—her beauty, his friendship, her charm, his loyalty. Your attitude toward one another will begin to change. You will see God, yourself, and your mate in a new light. Since sex begins in the mind, this renewing process of prayer is important.  

Set the stage for prayer foreplay. Atmosphere helps. Go into your bedroom, put on instrumental music in the background, and light some candles. Cuddle on the bed while reading a passage from the Song of Songs. Then one person begin a short sentence prayer. Then the other pray. Keep this pattern going as long as you both like. Hold hands while you pray and let nature take its course!

Ask: How can I use prayer to move closer to my mate?


Naked and Unashamed

Acceptance is what gets us to the point of standing naked—physically, emotionally, spiritually—before each other and feeling no shame.
Tim Gardner, Sacred Sex

Prior to the fall, Adam and Eve had nothing to hide. They were completely open and vulnerable with each other and with God. After the fall, guilt led to shame which forced Adam and Eve into hiding. They were now embarrassed by their naked bodies. 

But God in His grace and mercy found the man and woman and provided the perfect covering for their sin, as well as their bodies. As a foreshadowing of what Christ would provide for each of us as the sacrificial Lamb, God slew an animal, prepared the hide, and presented it to Adam and Eve as clothing. God was offering man and woman His unconditional love, forgiveness, and acceptance.

What an awesome realization! In Christ, we can return to the Garden. We are free in Him to enjoy each other's bodies to the fullest measure in the marriage union, expressing without inhibition our passion and desire for one another. Because God accepts us completely in Christ, we can accept our mates physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Through God’s eyes, you can see your mate as he/she really is--a highly valued creation of God! If your mate is also a believer, he/she is a child of God, chosen and beloved. 

As you begin to view your mate with God’s perspective, you too will apply God’s grace to your mate’s daily imperfections.

Ask: What can I do during our lovemaking to show my mate that I accept him/her?


For more intimate meditations . . .

Sex as God Designed It: Intimate Meditations for the Married Couple

Purchase on Amazon 

Great gift for Valentine's Day or any time of the year!
Sex  as God Designed It
is designed for the married couple to enjoy together in the privacy of their own bedroom. Short, intimate meditations lead you and your spouse to a deeper understanding of God’s beautiful plan for your sexual relationship. Each vignette promotes oneness and enhances excitement as you anticipate your God-ordained union. Experience the sweet surrender of offering yourself totally to God and to your spouse. No greater relationship illustrates the love God has for His precious child than man and woman coming together as one flesh. Cherish your sexual relationship the way God intended it: as an act of worship to bring glory and honor to Himself!

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