Loving Eileen

I (Chuck) really desire to love Eileen the way God wants me to, but I have failed more times than I care to think about. 

Never was this more apparent than when I heard a message at Promise Keepers at RFK stadium in 1995. The message was that if the radiance was gone from my wife which was there on our wedding day, the problem was not with her, but with me. I needed to take an inward look and see how I was contributing to the problems. 

I came home from that life-changing conference and examined how I needed to transform my life and attitudes. I determined before God to be the loving leader that my wife had been asking for all throughout our marriage, but I had not listened. Oh yes, I had heard the words many times, but I had never heard with understanding. I had never heard with wisdom, which always leads to application. 

I was now receiving the message with the eyes to see, and the ears to hear that I was the responsible one. I was the one who needed to change. I was the one who needed to learn to lead. 

God impressed upon me that I was to be a leader to Eileen in the areas of humility, understanding, honor, love, intimacy, commitment, balanced ministry, and in fruit manifestation--living before her a life that demonstrates the fruit of the Spirit of God--love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23).

Tall order? You bet! It's taken 36 years to begin to see fruit in these areas. But as I offer myself to the Lord on a daily basis, I develop a sharper focus of loving Eileen. 

(Excerpt adapted from Marriage with an Attitude, How to Build an Exciting Marriage with a Fantastic Attitude! Chuck and Eileen Rife (c) 2000. Now available in CD format).